Keep on rubbing it in, why doncha?

I've been getting weekly emails from my hospital telling me what fascinating side effects I can expect as my pregnancy moves forward (e.g., Week 23: You look like a manatee! Put down the Ben & Jerry's, or, Week 31: Your baby is now developing eyelashes and that part of the brain that will make her a horrible adolescent who will inevitably listen to something you won't even recognize as music!). They've been less than helpful for the past few weeks, because my baby is still INSIDE OF ME, you jerks. So yeah, tips on getting enough rest after giving birth, and how much milk/formula my baby needs is really not all that interesting to me now. How about some tips on overly strenuous exercises that might induce labor? Or how to perform your own C-section at home with vodka and a kitchen knife? That's the kind of advice I could use.

I'm really trying hard to be patient and wait for the li'l darling to come out when she's ready, but it ain't easy. Since she's obviously brilliant already, I'm guessing she's hanging on until tomorrow, because how cool would it be to be born on 9.9.09? I hear September 8th is a pretty awesome day, too. We've got a few hours... Go, Baby, go!