What the doctor says: "Hm, you've gained 6 pounds since your last visit, that's a little high. Although, overall, your total weight gain is fine considering your height, especially since your weight gain was on the lower side last week. Everything else good? Good. I'll see you in two weeks for your ultrasound."
What I hear: "Holy shit, you've gained 6 pounds since your last visit? How do you even DO that? Are you mainlining lard? Well, that's it... you're already huge and unattractive, and you're never EVER going to lose this baby weight. This will start the cycle of you being depressed about your body, then overeating to console yourself, until in a few years, when your house catches on fire you end up on the evening news because you'll be so fat that the firefighters have to chop down your doorframe to get you out. Everything else good? Good. I'll see you in two weeks for your ultrasound."
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Hilarious... Especially when followed immediately with, "Ok, let's see how your blood pressure's doing. Hmm, it seems a little high for you." Really? Can't imagine why, since you only just told me I gained an entire baby.
ReplyDeleteYep. The many, many joys of pregnancy. Also, I think that no one should be allowed to publish photos of pregnant supermodels/actresses unless there is clearly visible cellulite.
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