Monday, July 6, 2009

The Stand-In

We put together the crib yesterday, and by we, I mean that I was often in the room messing around with iTunes while Alex figured out how to put the whole thing together himself. Without having any instructions. Oh, yeah, and I occasionally asked him if he was SUUURE that that really was supposed to go there? Cause that really just doesn't make sense. (Answer: Yes, it does go there. You can tell because the crib looks like a crib, and doesn't wobble at all.)

A point came during the construction that Alex told me he needed my help, and I immediately left the room for a snack. He deserves a lot of credit here, because if I had asked him for help with something and he hadn't started doing it before I even finished the sentence, I would have punched him in the stomach and then stuffed his favorite PS3 game down the garbage disposal. Instead, he very calmly asked where I was going, and casually mentioned that this was, in fact, the one and only time that he needed two minutes worth of extra hands. You'd think he wanted Baby to come out brain damaged because I postponed eating a handful of almonds for five minutes.

We got the crib together (thanks, Alex... you are awesome), and arranged the baby furniture in the second bedroom. Even with the adorable bedding in the crib, it didn't look quite right, so we looked around for a stand in baby so that we could really get an idea of how the whole picture would look. Cash was too big to hoist up, and anyway, he's surprisingly uninterested in being mauled by us when he's busy sleeping. When we first got our changing table, Alex was wondering what the straps were for, so I put the stuffed bear that he gave me for a birthday years ago onto the changing pad and buckled it in. Those straps work! We turned the changing pad upside down and shook it, and that bear stayed in. We spare nothing when it comes to ensuring our offspring's safety.

Anyway, we put the bear on its back to sleep in the crib, and we both stood there, pondering the upcoming miracle soon to come into our lives. After a minute Alex made the bear do a dead on imitation of our pending miracle screeching its head off, complete with waving arms and kicking legs. He also discovered that the plastic-covered, pee-proof mattress without sheets on it is perfect for sliding bears (and babies?) back and forth, bouncing the poor thing off the sides of the crib bumper. Also, should our zero to 24 month old show any propensity for break-dancing, especially when it comes to spinning on the head, that sheet free mattress is where it's at.

I know that Alex is incredibly excited for this baby to get here, though. Last night after he turned the lights off in the rest of the house, he went into the nursery, stood next to the crib and said (out loud!), "Good night, fake baby." I can't wait to see how much love he has for the real one.


  1. changing straps won't make it past the first week. you do realize you will have to change the poop factory like 1,000 times a day. trust me - a baby can fall from a changing table and be fine - just ask Jack. Sean hasn't experienced a free fall just yet.

  2. "Good Night Fake Baby" made me laugh out loud. I'm so psyched I'll be in the Bay area to meet Real Baby!

  3. LOL! This is awesome! I enjoy learning about the quirks and behind the scenes getting-ready-for-baby acts.